Bad Hips, Bloggers & Bling Robbers by Frances Scott

Hey guys! 

I'm just sitting here at PT again (lying here, actually, doing squeezes in places you don't want to know).  Been doing a lot of lying around lately. And so it goes, after surgery... Not easy for a Type A mom, with more energy than a case of Dr. Pepper & 3 fruitcakes, yet not allowed to be "weight-bearing."

I was just hoping you are all OK. 
I know it's hard... Work and "getting ready" for Christmas, and some of you are SO sad, because you lost someone this year, or lost your job, or had a kid get really sick or you, yourself, came down with a horrible illness (Take it from this gal who wants so badly to run & jump & play again!!!!!!) Skip's taken to awarding Wii time to any of our kids who see me breaking my doctor's orders. He knows I hate those darn video games. It inspires me to "be good." 

So I'm online a LOT, and I read this blog last night (it takes 5 minutes) and thought it was the best story idea ever. I wanted this lady to be here in NC, but she's in Houston. It's a story that SHOULD  be on CNN,  World News, Fox AND on Oprah, in my opinion, plus I'm telling you about it too, because I know how this season and NEWS in general  can make you feel.  And this might help to change it. It did for me.

It's a blog, written by a newspaper gal, who has a blog on the side, & put out an ad, offering to give away 20 gift cards, if people would just write her & tell her what was going on (going "wrong" in their lives, if you will...) 

And it just BLEW UP, with OTHER PEOPLE, offering to help the 21st, 22nd, & 23rd people in need... And now, in about 10 days, thousands of people who don't know each other are helping and getting help from one another. And she says even some of the GIVERS have written her back, saying it stopped them from committing SUICIDE, because it made them feel more needed and less lonely. 

I could go on and on. I'll tell you about it, if you don't have time to read it, but I read it to my kids last night (7,7 & 5) (but Skipped the one part about Santa, and the cussing. Tee hee). 

Here I sit, shoulder's shrugged, because I feel like I can't do ANYTHING I normally do for people I love, and at CHRISTMAS, of all times... when mothers everywhere are expected to be at their best or be considered complete failures.  It feels helpless and makes me more neurotic than I normally am. 

My engagement & wedding rings got stolen during my hip surgery 2 weeks ago. I shouldn't have taken them with me, but I was honestly kind of thinking about "What if I die?" and how much I love Skip and how the kids would be, without a mom--  and I didn't WANT to take them off 'til the very last minute. But I dislike jewelry.  I actually wear jewelry only at work, ONLY because it's kind of part of my job (You know, flashy TV stuff...). I don't really care about any jewelry I have -- except for the ring my parents gave me and the one Skip gave me. 

My engagement ring Skip gave me was not significant, because it was big, but if you read my blog, you know-- Homeboy DOES NOT spend money. I would have married him for a piece of gravel, but he showed up with 2 carats!  Knowing him even better now, 10 years later, I KNOW WHAT a HUGE sacrifice it was for him. (Honestly, we are a "beans, rice and peanut-butter family" and I've grown TOTALLY FINE WITH that).  I realize more fully, him giving me that means even more-- that he actually could bring himself EVER to buy something like that. We buy all cars for less than he spent on my ring. It's not the money; it's that he sacrificed so much in the way that is MOST painful for him in particular. Nobody... NOBODY can steal THAT from me. 

Skip KNEW, when I gave our rings back to him in the OR that morning, that he should put them on his keys or lock them with my purse in the trunk in the hospital parking lot. But he kind of felt like me, and wanted to keep them with him, because he was scared too, and wanted them, right there on HIS hand, a little part of "us" still with him.  But he was SO tired & cold in that giant waiting room for 12 hours-- he fell asleep, and you know about men and shrinkage and all..  and they must've slipped off.  

He's been tortured by the fact that "he lost my rings."  I'd let the insurance policy lapse during our last 2 moves & 3 preganancies (not a "details" person here), and he went to re-insure the rings this fall, but we couldn't find the appraisal in all the boxes. Blah, blah, blah. 

We put out a "lost" ad on Craig's list & this guy calls & says he has them... Long story, but we're 99.9% sure he was just a scammer. But we SO WANTED it to be true, not just to get the rings back, but to know that someone did what they felt was best, in spite of their own potential for gain.  But it looks like he was just messing with us for a full day, trying to con us to send him $200-- more torture for Skip. (No, we didn't fall for it, and no, even though he said he'd mailed them, they've not come.)

But then I came across that blog from the Houston newspaper gal, and just remembered how GOOD God is.  He's bigger than my thief. He's bigger than money. He's bigger than my bad hips. This year, I decided, I will not let any ring-robber at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center take my joy. 
In fact, that theif GAVE ME a gift. I wouldn't have thought this much about that ring probably EVER IN MY LIFE, had he not stolen or "not returned" it, nor would I have thought this much about how much I love my husband and how much he sacrifices for me and our kids... how like Jesus he tries to be. And that's big. It's so big.  

And then there's www.thebloggess.com.  I don't know her spiritual persuasion, but I believe God used her, and unlike me so often, she was willing to go with what she heard in her heart about what should be done. Bingo.  God blessed me through her. He blessed thousands through her. I don't know how many other people give Him the credit when the good stuff happens, but I do.  And, thanks to my ring theif, I kind of understand this year, about giving Him the glory in the bad stuff too. He takes ashes, (my missing ring) and turns it into beauty (a deeper appreciation of my husband's love). How loving is that? That a god out there makes even the bad stuff good?

I can't walk. I haven't cooked. I have only the food people have brought us. I haven't shopped or wrapped presents. If the kids get something in their stockings, it'll most likely be something I dig out of the bottom of my purse.  We have an unsold house in VA, and one of my parents has just died. It's not that we're not financially blessed. Most of us are. We're normally, kind of, JOY bankrupt these days, I think. 

But I GOT my joy back this year, thanks to a set of bad hips, a blogger, and a bad guy who stole my bling.  God is SO good.  If you don't think so, dare him to prove it to you. This year, I'm not ready for Christmas, but I am totally getting it.  I am totally getting it. 

Comments

[Leigh]

How true in deed, each and everything you said. Our God is indeed an awesome God, and through Him all things are possible!

[Pam Street]

Frances, I read your post and cried my eyes out. I have recently lost my job (loved it with a passion) and had foot surgery -- getting the cast off today and just feeling so sorry for myself. I have FAI (same thing you had) and scared to death about surgery. God is so good but I am really scared right now. You are a trooper having your surgery around Christmas. I am glad you found your "joy."!!

[DePuy Hip Replacement Recall]

Life is never easy but when we learn to accept things, it becomes so. I am happy to hear about your realizations, most of all how you became to value your relationship with your husband even more. I would say you are very lucky to see beyond the materialistic things such as the ring and it is really big of you to decide not to let the thief or thieves destroy your day. That is not easy to do especially after having just undergone surgery to your hips. You will find yourself luckier because you have not been affected by the DePuy hip replacement recall. Not many could say the same, especially perhaps the 93,000 people worldwide who had received the implant.

[DePuy Asr Recall]

I am glad that you have decided to become the bigger person than the thieves who have stolen your rings. I always puzzled at this when my father taught me to just walk away from situations like this. Reading your post, I realized even more that my dad was right. It is better not to let it affect you because then you would end up more as the victor. Looking at it objectively, it becomes too petty.

[Lawyers for hip implants]

Your article has made me very emotional and made me think back about some of the experiences I've felt when I was emotionally down. Though I don't need proof, my believes in God are solid, I remember how good it felt when some circumstances made me feel that I'm watched over. I was sure that those are not random happenings and everything I experienced was due to God's watching over me, and he is watching over every one of us. Sometimes a simple gesture, a good wish from a stranger or the tiniest help can remind us how important we are and what big impact we can make in the lives of others.
I wish you a fast and painless recovery from your surgery and a joyful life.
Best,
Colin.